Toxic Environments

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These are the opposites of building health.



Toxic environments are people, situations, buildings.

Victims Stay in Toxic Environments
One of the biggest source of stress and health destroyers; work or home; anybody can be a victim: man, woman, or child.

1. People stay because they don't think they can make it on their own. Financially or emotionally they think they need that job or marriage to continue, despite wrecking their health.

2. People stay because they don't know the signs of a toxic relationship, despite being drained and feeling badly.

3. People stay because they have poor self-esteem. They did not have a nuturing childhood and continue to accept abuse as normal. Or they have this concept that they can fix it. Or they actually believe they caused the other person to treat them badly. A person with self esteem would realize that the situation (home or work) doesn't work for them and leave.

4. People stay because they have NO self esteem and have NOT put themselves first.

Run away from toxic relationships. Don't accept that you made them do it or that everything is your fault. If you are so terrible: why hasn't the boss fired you? If you are so terrible: then why does your partner (spouse or friend) stay?

Once you are out of a toxic relationship, don't second guess yourself. Don't remember the few good things. You left because it was toxic. Don't go back. Black holes will try to suck you back in, but it won't be for your benefit. Take 49% of the blame, and move on.

A child with an autoimmune disease should be evaluated for toxic home or school environments. Children cannot escape toxic environments, at home or at school. Children can be charged as adults in crimes; yet they lack adult rights. Many children have run away or committed suicide because they cannot escape toxic situations like bullying. The runaway child usually ends up in a worse situation. But this is a topic too big for this page. Children get sick for the same reasons as adults, but children lack legal rights and financial ability to change toxic environments.

51% selfish isn't really selfish
You cannot help others unless you take care of yourself first.

''Who is rich? He who is happy with what he has.'' but If I am only for myself (more than 51%), it is not good.

If I am never or rarely for myself (less than 51%), it is not good.

51% selfish is healthy.

When you are 51% selfish, your needs are met, and you are kind to those around you.

You should feel happy and those with you should feel happy.

Back to relationships: if/when your needs are rarely met, you need to leave.

Are you a toxic person?
Don't exceed 51% selfishness.
 * Only your needs are met (and you probably don't realize that others lack).
 * You take the lion's share (or more than 51%) for yourself.
 * Everything revolves around you.
 * Nobody else gets (or rarely gets) their turn.
 * You complain half the time (or more).
 * People around you feel like they are walking on pins and needles (or egg shells) so they don't upset you

Toxic people think they are the victim because they only care about themselves. If people are afraid to talk to you because you become upset or rage, then you are a toxic person. Toxic people think everything is everybody else's fault. When they do accept some of the blame, it is a minimal amount, and they still claim the other person is the main cause, problem, or at fault. A black hole swallows everything, including light: don't be a black hole and don't stay in a black hole.

Complement Ratio is 5:1
Change the way you interact:

Count the positive to negative comments: A ratio of five compliments for every one complaint will alter behavior in a desired manner [2]. Compliments, approval, encouragement, and affirmation will transform a rotten marriage into a stable marriage.[1]

Backhanded complements are counted as negative: If only you could clean house as well as you cook. Backhanded comments tie a deserved complement with a critizism. It is like taking the best tasting meal and throwing flies on it. It does not motivate nor endear anybody. The receiver feels put down, not praised.

One high school principal set a policy: Only one negative comment to a family per day. The principal said that it did not matter if the student cut somebody's head off. Once anybody complained to a family, nobody else was allowed to make another negative commment that day. Studies show that this ratio works for every relationship and that all the members profit: Forgatch and DeGarmo (2007) found that with mothers who were recently divorced, a standard set of parent management training (a program based on social learning principles that teaches rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior combined with communication skills) could help elevate the divorced mother out of poverty.[3] The 5:1 complement ration was able to end poverty. Amazing!!!

If you feel battered, count the complements to negative comments. Emotional battering is worse than physical abuse. The police will arrest somebody if you get a black eye, etc, but nobody can see your emotional bruises and injuries. If you are in a toxic environment, you need to leave. If you cannot support yourself, take out a student loan, and go to school. Be 51% selfish; don't stay in an abusive environment.

Count your own words. At work, home, and any other environment: Are you positive or negative? Once you say your negative comment, don't say anything negative (no matter what) until you have spoken 5 sincere, positive comments. If you cannot come up with 5 positive comments, then something is wrong with you (or you are in a toxic environment and need to leave). Employees, family members, religious groups, club members, etc should not stay in confrontive, agressive environments. Everybody functions better in positive environments.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship
(30 signs of a toxic relationship http://www.adaliaconfidenceandsuccessblog.com/2010/07/15/30-signs-of-toxic-relationships)

(13 signs of a toxic relationship http://www.keen.com/CommunityServer/UserBlogPosts/SYMONNE/13-Signs-You-Are-Involved-In-A-Toxic-Relationshipquot-The-Bakers-Dozen-quot/427579.aspx)

(Getting out of a toxic relationship http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/7115340/ns/today-relationships/t/find-your-way-out-ofa-toxic-relationship)

(Handling a toxic relationship  http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-handle-toxic-relationships)

(Confronting toxic relationships  http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Confront-Your-Toxic-Relationships/2)

(The strenght of being able to walk away  http://mnmlist.com/)  This website has a large amount of articles on similar topics. Since this person already wrote them, we don't need to duplicate them here. Enjoy.

Toxic Buildings
Are you in a toxic environment: a building (work or home), around chemicals (work or home)?

Building can suffer from the dreaded four. Most illnesses are caused by the dreaded four.


 * Bacteria
 * Virus
 * Mold, Yeast Infection, and Fungus In the body and in your environment.  Have a professional check your building.
 * Parasites

In addition to that, the material can be toxic. Those chemical build up in the person. Each person is different but when that max limit is reached, the person gets sick. Cancers, autoimmune disease, etc.

EPA: toxic building

Remediation of mold in schools and commercial buildings

Osha: Preventing Mold-Related Problems in the Indoor Workplace

Chinese drywall emits sulfur gas.

People stay in toxic environments when they should walk (run) away!! It is a health destroyer.

All the points for toxic relationships apply to toxic buildings and environments.

In one apartment building, two families (upstairs and downstairs) had several members get autoimmune disease. The mother upstair got MS. The mother downstairs got lupus. One of the children got an unknown autoimmune disease and was in a children's hospital for over a month. Nobody in either house felt well. In hindsight, Bromine poisoning, Bromism, should have been investigated. The building was weekly sprayed for roaches.

In a high school, the main building and the science building had high rates of employee chronic illnesses. One teacher had such sinus infections that the doctors removed them. Yet, the exposure to whatever continued and his symptoms persisted. The teachers seemed afraid to whistle blow and call in the specialists to examine the two buildings. The teachers prefered to transfer or retire.

References: Victim
1.^ Gottman, J.M.; Levenson, R.W. (1999). "What predicts change in marital interaction over time? A study of alternative models." Family Process, 38(2), pp. 143–58

Gottman, J. M. (1994a). What Predicts Divorce. Hillsdale,NJ: Erlbaum

Gottman, J. M. (1994b). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.New York: Simon and Schuster.

2.^ Kirkhart, Robert and Evelyn, "The Bruised Self: Mending in the Early Years", in Kaoru Yamamoto (ed.), The Child and His Image: Self Concept in the Early Years. New York: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1972.

3.^ Forgatch, M. & DeGarmo (2007). Accelerating recovery from poverty: Prevention effects for recently separated mothers. Journal of Early and Intensive Behavior Intervention, 4(4), pp. 681–72.BAO

External Websites
http://www.adaliaconfidenceandsuccessblog.com/2010/07/15/30-signs-of-toxic-relationships/

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/7115340/ns/today-relationships/t/find-your-way-out-ofa-toxic-relationship/

http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-handle-toxic-relationships/

http://www.keen.com/CommunityServer/UserBlogPosts/SYMONNE/13-Signs-You-Are-Involved-In-A-Toxic-Relationshipquot-The-Bakers-Dozen-quot/427579.aspx

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Confront-Your-Toxic-Relationships/2

http://mnmlist.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_building_syndrome

EPA: toxic building

Chinese drywall emits sulfur gas.

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